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  • Dr. Tim Morrison

RELATIONAL VAMPIRES—NEEDY PEOPLE

In life we will encounter two types of people:

Life-Giving people: Encourage, Inspire, Strengthen, Lift.

Relational Vampires: Suck life out you: Drained. Depleted. Weary.


We are in this series right now called Relational Vampires… we’ve talked about Controlling—Critical, next week we’ll talk about Hypocritical (Today)—Overly Needy.

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The truth is every group has: Challenging people. And Where 2 or 3 are gathered there is probably going to be one of those people around. It happens everywhere… Here at Good Shepherd, In your Family, at Work… wherever you go.


I think everyone has encountered this right? Can you raise your hand if you agree?

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So how do we Love and Care for needy people— people who are Hurting? Extra attention? Help?


It might be a Relative who is all alone or a Guy at Good Shepherd who has no friends, maybe it's a Buddy needs $K, it might be a Co-worker fishing compliment, or someone who is struggling to get bus money that they need to get where they are going.

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The thing is… It's Complicated: Whatever do, Isn’t ever enough. We want to Pull back—but we Feel guilty. We Want to help: but we don’t want to Help wrong way—Hurting them and you.


So How do we love those who suck life out of us—Howe do we do it in a way that Honors who God is calling us to be in Christ and at the same time Helps them?

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HOW DO WE HELP WITHOUT HURTING (3)


WE GIVE STRATEGICALLY.


Often we Give emotionally. We give because it Feels good and relieves our guilt. We’ve all done it right? We’ve passed off a dollar to the guy on the street. The thing is… instead of focusing on what they want or need… we were really focusing on ourselves and what would give us a feeling of relief in the situation. But What do they really need? What could we do that would really help them in their situation. So we need to focus on not giving emotionally, but rather giving strategically. And to do this correctly it's going to mean that we really need to take this to God in prayer and seek what God wants us to do.


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Peter and John going temple middle of afternoon—Here is this story the man begging was born Lame. He was not allowed in the temple. He was not allowed in polite society. He could never have had a job even if he could have because no one would have done business with him. So he is forced to beg at the temple gates.


3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” 5 So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Acts 3:3-5


So Those hurting learned this… If I’m loud enough—If I speak long enough—Someone will help.

They were depending one people’s Emotional giving. This dude must have had some pretty amazing friends because he couldn’t have gotten to the temple gates by himself, they would have had to Carry him to the gate every day.


6 Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” 7 Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. Acts 3:6-7


So instead of giving Handouts—the disciples gave a Hand-up.

The lame man was saying, “If you really loved me you would give me________. (Attention, $, Time)”

But Peter responded… Because I love you, not giving what want—need.


What's a person gonna say? Well I really need $300 to make my car payment, I need $300 now to make my car payment and you may know well you actually just bought an Apple watch, a pair of really nice shoes and you're playing Fortnite instead of getting a job, right? Anybody know that person I'm talking about? What we may say is that, “you want money but I'm going to help you get a job instead of sitting on the couch all day long.”

This may be what you want but God's leading me to give you what you need. I'm not just gonna do what you want, but God give me wisdom to do what's right. I'm not just gonna tell you what you want to hear, but God give me the courage to lovingly say what they need to hear.

James was a nice guy, but he would constantly be hitting up myself or the other pastors of my previous church for money. One day we found ourselves without a custodian and we thought… what if James took the job. All of the sudden he would have a steady stream of income. So we did this. Guess what… James still was asking for money. We said, James… what the heck? We gave you a fulltime job that pays decent. So instead of giving him more money we had him go through Financial Peace classes and pretty soon James was on his own two feet, not asking for money any more and what amazed all of us was that he became a faithful giver to the congregation.


We give strategically.

WE SERVE WISELY.


Jesus would: Serve selflessly Love authentically Give generously Teach faithfully Listen compassion

Then he would STOP—Go off by himself to recharge with God.

In order for you to keep giving out—You’ve got to stop to fill up.


35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 36 Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37 and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” Mark 1:35


As a parent you are trying have moment alone restroom and soon Everyone is looking! You even try to close the door, but there are Fingers under the door!

Some of the best wisdom in life we actually get from the airline attendants. “Secure your own mask first—If you aren’t breathing—Can’t help kids.”

Think about the GOOD SAMARITAN… He stopped to help the man who had been beaten and robbed. He got him to an inn where he would be taken care of, then what did he do? He said to the innkeeper, take care of him and I will be back for him. So where did he go? He either went to home or to work, or back to normal life, but for sure he would have gotten fed, paid and restored after he helped someone before he came back to help more.


You can’t say “yes” often If you don’t say “no” occasionally.

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We give strategically.

We serve wisely.

WE TRUST COMPLETELY. (Trust God)


We are going to Help the way God leads us to help—Trust him consequences.

If you think God needs you to fix everyone else—Your God is too small!

Jesus is the answer—We are the servants. (He’s Power—Conduit)

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7-8


Prodigal son ran away from home. Notice… Father loved his son—he Waited—he Prayed—He Didn’t RESCUE. The son Came to his senses and the Father was waiting with open arms.


Rescuing isn’t always helping! If someone is Always late— they May need to lose their job. If a college student is Partying their brains out and don’t go to class—they might Lose scholarship. If you continue to Charge up debt —then plan a disney Vacation—by a Michael Kors Purse—3 outfits from Nodstrom— a new Jeep — and then you get Evicted… well that may be a hard lesson that needed to be learned.

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Be careful not to feel superior! Don’t Start feeling that people are your projects.

People in need are not projects we help—They are people we love!

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Ultimately, we recognize that we are in need to!


When I go to a poorer part of the world I want to help out and give financially, but while I’m there are start to quickly realize that I am the impoverished one. I’m the one who is poor in spirit, dry in the Spirit of God in comparison to those people.


We may Help someone else—but the truth is we Hurt too—we are Lonely too.


5 But as for me, I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; Lord, do not delay. Ps 70:5 David


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The church is such an important part of healing. We find healing in community where we each need each other and we can each point the other person back to Christ.

I’m not your answer—You are not my answer.

Jesus is the answer for all of us who are needy.

My job is Pointing you to Jesus— and also Letting you point me to him.


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